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No Previous Convictions

Mario A. 👍
4 min readMar 14, 2024

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I watched Court TV the other day, and for the thousandth time, I hear that the defendant is a good guy, with no previous convictions. But it’s not only questionable characters who like to point out they have not been previously convicted of anything, ordinary people are also tapping into the trend.

It seems that in the world we live in, a clean slate is more prized than a clean kitchen! Having “no previous convictions” has become the ultimate status symbol!

Yes, forget your luxury cars, forget your designer clothes. Today, the real flex is walking into a job interview and casually mentioning, “Oh, by the way, I have no previous convictions.” It’s like saying you’ve never accidentally microwaved a fork — it’s both impressive and somewhat suspicious.

Photo by Rajesh Rajput on Unsplash

😊Let’s set the scene: you’re at a swanky dinner party. The conversation turns, as it inevitably does, to criminal records (because what else do people talk about over quinoa salad?). One guest boasts about a jaywalking ticket from 2003, another reminisces about that wild night they accidentally stole a traffic cone. Then you lean in, a sly smile playing on your lips, and drop the bombshell: “I’ve never even been fined for overdue library books.” The room goes silent. Eyes widen. Someone drops their fork. You are now the most intriguing person at the party.

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